WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. [LIFE CRISIS RANT]

I'm in the biggest dilemma of my life so far, and it's ripping me to shreds. I have to make a decision, but which decision is the right decision?

DECISION A:

PROS: Get my license. Find a job this summer and move to Merced with my best friend. Save up for beauty school there and/or get a tattoo apprenticeship. Have some good company, splitting rent so I'd have extra money to do things. Come home every once in a while to help my mother and visit with my brother. Do something with my life. FREEEEEDOMMMMMMMM!

CONS: Getting my license and finding a job within a couple months seems like a horrible feat to beat. Job more so because I have facial piercings that I'm not willing to take out. :( Have my mom be upset all of the time, and blame me for her not being able to pay her bills. If I'm not there on her days off, she can't get over time because there is no one to watch Keith, my brother. [SHE NEEDS A FUCKING HUSBAND]. If I go to Merced and save up for beauty school, it would make sense to go to one in Merced...which sucks because Paul Mitchell is in Modesto and that is a guarantee that you'll get a job afterward. So basically, I would have to go to a beauty school in Merced, which lowers my standards, and will make it harder for me to be in the business.



DECISION B:

PROS: I won't have to pay any rent living at home with my mother. I will always have food and a place to stay. I don't have to put as much pressure on getting my license. Beauty school is right around the corner, and so is a tattoo shop willing to give me an apprenticeship.

CONS: My best friend won't have enough money to come down and hang out...and she won't have the time either this school year. My mom stresses me out with her yelling...and the vibe in this house makes me lazy. For some reason, whenever I'm here I get extremely lazy and don't want to do anything. Again, my mother's yelling upsets me...she's always upset about something. I can't blame her really...but I think she takes it too far. My brother doesn't help my mom's stress level either. I would have little to no social life living here. It sucks because my motivation is gone when I'm here...but it seems like everything is close and conveniently there.

So there it is....It seems that both decisions have cons that outweigh the pros....or maybe I'm just a negative person. lol. So yeah, this is what I think about every fucking day.

Share your thoughts? I would appreciate it a lot.