I'm in the biggest dilemma of my life so far, and it's ripping me to shreds. I have to make a decision, but which decision is the right decision?
DECISION A:
PROS: Get my license. Find a job this summer and move to Merced with my best friend. Save up for beauty school there and/or get a tattoo apprenticeship. Have some good company, splitting rent so I'd have extra money to do things. Come home every once in a while to help my mother and visit with my brother. Do something with my life. FREEEEEDOMMMMMMMM!
CONS: Getting my license and finding a job within a couple months seems like a horrible feat to beat. Job more so because I have facial piercings that I'm not willing to take out. :( Have my mom be upset all of the time, and blame me for her not being able to pay her bills. If I'm not there on her days off, she can't get over time because there is no one to watch Keith, my brother. [SHE NEEDS A FUCKING HUSBAND]. If I go to Merced and save up for beauty school, it would make sense to go to one in Merced...which sucks because Paul Mitchell is in Modesto and that is a guarantee that you'll get a job afterward. So basically, I would have to go to a beauty school in Merced, which lowers my standards, and will make it harder for me to be in the business.
DECISION B:
PROS: I won't have to pay any rent living at home with my mother. I will always have food and a place to stay. I don't have to put as much pressure on getting my license. Beauty school is right around the corner, and so is a tattoo shop willing to give me an apprenticeship.
CONS: My best friend won't have enough money to come down and hang out...and she won't have the time either this school year. My mom stresses me out with her yelling...and the vibe in this house makes me lazy. For some reason, whenever I'm here I get extremely lazy and don't want to do anything. Again, my mother's yelling upsets me...she's always upset about something. I can't blame her really...but I think she takes it too far. My brother doesn't help my mom's stress level either. I would have little to no social life living here. It sucks because my motivation is gone when I'm here...but it seems like everything is close and conveniently there.
So there it is....It seems that both decisions have cons that outweigh the pros....or maybe I'm just a negative person. lol. So yeah, this is what I think about every fucking day.
Share your thoughts? I would appreciate it a lot.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I'm only interested in your vagina.
If the title isn't explanatory enough I don't know what is. So, you know those guys that you make friends with...and then they consistently flatter you as if to woo you, but you're not interested? Yeah, well....they fucking suck. Why? Because they distance themselves if you're not into them.
Let me dialogue:
"Hey you're pretty cute, and I want to know if I can take you out sometime."
"Lol, nah. I'm only good looking in pictures...if you saw me in person..you'd be like no way."
"Haha you're crazy. We should go out. :)"
"No thanks. lol."
"Why not?"
"I'm just not into you like that"
"Oh..."
"Yep."
[this is the part where they don't respond and don't text you the next day or the next day or the next day...etc.]
Annoying right? It's as if the whole time, the asshole was thinking about getting in my pants and not being my friend. I mean, it's obvious. If you truly wanted to be friends with someone, despite them rejecting you, you would have kept talking to them. Dicks.
Let me dialogue:
"Hey you're pretty cute, and I want to know if I can take you out sometime."
"Lol, nah. I'm only good looking in pictures...if you saw me in person..you'd be like no way."
"Haha you're crazy. We should go out. :)"
"No thanks. lol."
"Why not?"
"I'm just not into you like that"
"Oh..."
"Yep."
[this is the part where they don't respond and don't text you the next day or the next day or the next day...etc.]
Annoying right? It's as if the whole time, the asshole was thinking about getting in my pants and not being my friend. I mean, it's obvious. If you truly wanted to be friends with someone, despite them rejecting you, you would have kept talking to them. Dicks.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
"Oh cool, you're a guy? Fuck off."
So I hate guys. However, don't hate boys or men. To me, there is A BIG DIFFERENCE.
The following will explain my definition of Boy, Man, and Guy:
BOY: A young male ranging in the ages of newborn-eighteen. A naive creature who is just getting the hang of living the male life. In the early years, this docile animal is hard to differentiate with the female species. They have not developed their male parts completely [their balls haven't dropped] therefore, they lack the perverse mannerisms. However, as they go through puberty, they become more perverted than ever, but you can't blame them, they are just getting the hang of withholding a penis, and knowing the true meaning of a boner. It would make any boy crazy. lol.
MAN: A man is a fully developed wise creature who knows how to treat a woman, and knows when to be engage in sexual acts. A man is mature and well mannered. A man has self control and is in touch with his feminine side just enough to comfort a woman in need. A man understands, a man does not cheat, a man does not lie, a man is ready to settle down with one partner.
GUY: A guy goes by many names; that which include: TOOL, ASSHOLE, PERVERT, DICK, WOMANIZER, RAPIST, MAN SLUT, ABUSER...etc. Guys, are prone to treating women like shit. To explain, guys treat women like sexual toys instead of human beings; like pieces of meat and/or their own personal play things. Guys are not in touch with their feelings, however they believe that everyone feels for them. They are more then likely conceited, and think that every woman "wants" them.
Do not get me wrong, I am not sexist. I'm picky. There are different types of males such as there are different types of females. If you haven't noticed by now, I DO NOT LIKE GUYS. If a woman does, there is something seriously wrong with her. Boys, are too naive to even hate, they are merely learning. Men, is what most women strive for but finding one is very difficult. As years go by, males become more disrespectful, and women seem to be getting sluttier. In 12 years, we'll have baby prostitutes. Oh joy!
The following will explain my definition of Boy, Man, and Guy:
BOY: A young male ranging in the ages of newborn-eighteen. A naive creature who is just getting the hang of living the male life. In the early years, this docile animal is hard to differentiate with the female species. They have not developed their male parts completely [their balls haven't dropped] therefore, they lack the perverse mannerisms. However, as they go through puberty, they become more perverted than ever, but you can't blame them, they are just getting the hang of withholding a penis, and knowing the true meaning of a boner. It would make any boy crazy. lol.
MAN: A man is a fully developed wise creature who knows how to treat a woman, and knows when to be engage in sexual acts. A man is mature and well mannered. A man has self control and is in touch with his feminine side just enough to comfort a woman in need. A man understands, a man does not cheat, a man does not lie, a man is ready to settle down with one partner.
GUY: A guy goes by many names; that which include: TOOL, ASSHOLE, PERVERT, DICK, WOMANIZER, RAPIST, MAN SLUT, ABUSER...etc. Guys, are prone to treating women like shit. To explain, guys treat women like sexual toys instead of human beings; like pieces of meat and/or their own personal play things. Guys are not in touch with their feelings, however they believe that everyone feels for them. They are more then likely conceited, and think that every woman "wants" them.
Do not get me wrong, I am not sexist. I'm picky. There are different types of males such as there are different types of females. If you haven't noticed by now, I DO NOT LIKE GUYS. If a woman does, there is something seriously wrong with her. Boys, are too naive to even hate, they are merely learning. Men, is what most women strive for but finding one is very difficult. As years go by, males become more disrespectful, and women seem to be getting sluttier. In 12 years, we'll have baby prostitutes. Oh joy!
"Hi, I'm the third wheel. Pleased to meet you."
I have this friend that always seems to make friends with guys who want her. I don't know if it's on purpose or what, but it is very irritating. My friend is blonde, blue eyed, nice, pretty etc. Basically, everything a guy could want right? That's lovely and all...but trying being her shabby, artsy, asian friend with her guard up. By this I mean, I like to figure people out before I let them know about me. This doesn't mean that I am a mean person, I just like observing someone before I let them get close. Some might say I am intimidating or slightly unapproachable. I may come off rude sometimes...but that's only because I'm testing the waters. haha if ya catch my drift. Anyway, my friend likes to include me when she meets new people. Which is wonderful, I love being included...the only problem is when we meet, the person is always male...and always has googly eyes for my friend. The funny thing is, she doesn't even notice it. However, me being the observant person I am, TOTALLY see it.
It's very annoying when we go to hang out somewhere...like for example, the movie theater. We buy our tickets, grab some snacks and take our seats. More then likely my friend is in the middle between me and the male friend. Conversation commences...and who is talking? Oh no, not the three people hanging out...the male and my blonde friend. Talking away. What's the conversation about? Let me dialogue.
The dude: "So what are you into? Like what music and stuff blah blah blah"
My friend: "Ohhh, um you know I like blah blah blah"
The dude: "Oh cool so what do you-"
You get the picture right?
Basically, the guy asks her all these questions...much like you would if you WERE ON A DATE. I always ask if my friend is dating the guy and she just chooses to awkwardly bring me on the date without me knowing, but it's always a "no" and it's always "oh we're just friends".
Thats fine and dandy, but where's the part where we all act friendly AND NOT JUST FOCUS ON EACH OTHER. My friend claims every time that she's not interested in the guy, and I believe her because she's a nice person, and can't tell people when they're being assholes. So, this is where I come in. At this point, I'm irritated as fuck, and all I want to do is take a seat somewhere else or leave. I lean over and stare at them, I'll probably cough in a way that gestures "excuse me". I get their attention, and kindly with a slight irritation in my voice ask them something along the lines of "So, like how's the date going? You too gonna kiss now or what? Should I sit somewhere else? Am I ruining your little date you got going on here?" This is the part where they smile or laugh not knowing whether I'm making a joke or I'm legitimately pissed. lol. Then, my friend puts on her girly voice and says something along the lines of "No brittany, Geez". I can tell by her voice that she knows I'm mad. By this time, I pretty much hate the guy. I know that he's just some hormonal dude who wants to hump my friend and "fall in love" because guys are fucking retarded like that.
I'm not only pissed by the dude wanting my friend and wanting nothing to do with all being friends, I'm also mad at the fact that I'm sitting here pissed when I came to have good time, and now I'm awkward because the guy put me in a position to be ignored. All these factors make my blood boil, to the point where I want to hit the fucker. To make it worse, most of the time, the guy will ignore my obvious annoyed mood and keep talking to my friend, to which she will continue talking back because she can't ignore someone who is trying to speak to her, or even tell them THAT THEY ARE BEING RUDE. Inevitably, I become angrier because of this.
By this point, I'm angry as fuck. However, I can't do anything about it. If I ask my friend to leave, she'll say no, and if I leave, she'll follow me and make an ass out of me. Saying I'm being ridiculous....
But what she needs to do is put herself in my shoes for once. Unfortunately, that will probably never happen because she's far more good looking, thinner, nicer, and everything a guy wants, and I am not about to change myself to get the attention because I would hate to put one of my friends in the position I am ALWAYS in. It sucks ass to be honest.
TL;DR
Guys are fucking lovesick puppies when they meet my gorgeous friend therefore causing me to feel awkward and angry when we try to hang out because all they want to do is ignore me and try to woo my friend.
It's very annoying when we go to hang out somewhere...like for example, the movie theater. We buy our tickets, grab some snacks and take our seats. More then likely my friend is in the middle between me and the male friend. Conversation commences...and who is talking? Oh no, not the three people hanging out...the male and my blonde friend. Talking away. What's the conversation about? Let me dialogue.
The dude: "So what are you into? Like what music and stuff blah blah blah"
My friend: "Ohhh, um you know I like blah blah blah"
The dude: "Oh cool so what do you-"
You get the picture right?
Basically, the guy asks her all these questions...much like you would if you WERE ON A DATE. I always ask if my friend is dating the guy and she just chooses to awkwardly bring me on the date without me knowing, but it's always a "no" and it's always "oh we're just friends".
Thats fine and dandy, but where's the part where we all act friendly AND NOT JUST FOCUS ON EACH OTHER. My friend claims every time that she's not interested in the guy, and I believe her because she's a nice person, and can't tell people when they're being assholes. So, this is where I come in. At this point, I'm irritated as fuck, and all I want to do is take a seat somewhere else or leave. I lean over and stare at them, I'll probably cough in a way that gestures "excuse me". I get their attention, and kindly with a slight irritation in my voice ask them something along the lines of "So, like how's the date going? You too gonna kiss now or what? Should I sit somewhere else? Am I ruining your little date you got going on here?" This is the part where they smile or laugh not knowing whether I'm making a joke or I'm legitimately pissed. lol. Then, my friend puts on her girly voice and says something along the lines of "No brittany, Geez". I can tell by her voice that she knows I'm mad. By this time, I pretty much hate the guy. I know that he's just some hormonal dude who wants to hump my friend and "fall in love" because guys are fucking retarded like that.
I'm not only pissed by the dude wanting my friend and wanting nothing to do with all being friends, I'm also mad at the fact that I'm sitting here pissed when I came to have good time, and now I'm awkward because the guy put me in a position to be ignored. All these factors make my blood boil, to the point where I want to hit the fucker. To make it worse, most of the time, the guy will ignore my obvious annoyed mood and keep talking to my friend, to which she will continue talking back because she can't ignore someone who is trying to speak to her, or even tell them THAT THEY ARE BEING RUDE. Inevitably, I become angrier because of this.
By this point, I'm angry as fuck. However, I can't do anything about it. If I ask my friend to leave, she'll say no, and if I leave, she'll follow me and make an ass out of me. Saying I'm being ridiculous....
But what she needs to do is put herself in my shoes for once. Unfortunately, that will probably never happen because she's far more good looking, thinner, nicer, and everything a guy wants, and I am not about to change myself to get the attention because I would hate to put one of my friends in the position I am ALWAYS in. It sucks ass to be honest.
TL;DR
Guys are fucking lovesick puppies when they meet my gorgeous friend therefore causing me to feel awkward and angry when we try to hang out because all they want to do is ignore me and try to woo my friend.
"Why are you upset? What, is she your wife?"
I hate people who judge friendships. And not just any people...the people who you just met, that seem to think they can judge you and your relationship with a friend. Who are you to judge a friendship that's been going on for years? Who are you to pick out faults in a friendship that you find unnatural? Everyone is different, and everyone has different friendships. When two friends are close we call this BEST FRIENDS, not LESBIANS. Not to say, that lesbians couldn't be best friends, but in my case it is certainly NOT lesbian.
Is it a crime to want to hang out with your best friend all of the time? If it is, well fuck. I'll break the law of friendship as much as I want if it means I can hang out with the person I enjoy spending time with the most.
Does it make you a lesbian if you cry when you and your best friend are angry at each other? If it is, well fuck. I had no idea that crying determined my sexuality.
Although, I may be taking what this person said too seriously...it's only because it worries my friend. She doesn't want to be seen as being a lesbian, and that angers me that she cares so much about what this new person thinks. Why should we have to change our friendship and how much time we hang out together for some person that barely entered our lives? Changing the way we do things for someone else is not something I intend to do, and if this keeps up, I'm taking matters into my own hands.
Is it a crime to want to hang out with your best friend all of the time? If it is, well fuck. I'll break the law of friendship as much as I want if it means I can hang out with the person I enjoy spending time with the most.
Does it make you a lesbian if you cry when you and your best friend are angry at each other? If it is, well fuck. I had no idea that crying determined my sexuality.
Although, I may be taking what this person said too seriously...it's only because it worries my friend. She doesn't want to be seen as being a lesbian, and that angers me that she cares so much about what this new person thinks. Why should we have to change our friendship and how much time we hang out together for some person that barely entered our lives? Changing the way we do things for someone else is not something I intend to do, and if this keeps up, I'm taking matters into my own hands.
Where to begin?...
I'm not going to lie....I'm a pretty hateful person. So hateful, that I can actually dedicate a whole blog to my ranting and be able to update A LOT. lol. There's a lot of faults that I see in things. People mostly. Some you may agree with, some just pet peeves of mine.
Regardless, I am going to speak my mind here, and ya know...fuck shit up. ;)
Or rather, talk about how shit is fucked up. lol.
So there it is, a shabby, short, and cheesy introduction to what will be the most anger filled blog you will ever lay your eyes on. Okay, maybe not, but you get the picture.
Regardless, I am going to speak my mind here, and ya know...fuck shit up. ;)
Or rather, talk about how shit is fucked up. lol.
So there it is, a shabby, short, and cheesy introduction to what will be the most anger filled blog you will ever lay your eyes on. Okay, maybe not, but you get the picture.
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